Hurry up and wait

These days are an interesting mix of oxymoronic emotions, actions and self-talk. We think we're leaving a week from today. JUNE 24TH.  But we don't know yet. Not sure when we will know. Just waiting for that phone to ring. I go from nervous energy to total relaxation about it all. I get hit with the reality of all that is about to happen, stand there frozen for a minute and then go on with my day as usual. I run around frantically packing and check to do lists (at least 50 times a day), then I stare at her crib and her cute little clothes and act like I have nothing but free time. I tell myself there is no way we can do this next week and then remind myself anything can happen and adoptive families everywhere have been there, done that.  Hurry up and wait. 

And then finally, I take a deep breath and the Lord reminds me that even though we don't know when we are leaving yet, He does. Even though I don't know how much formula to take and how many diapers we'll need, He does. Even though we don't know the exact day we'll meet our daughter for the first time, He does. He always has. He called Grace Bethel out to be an Anderson longer ago that we will ever understand. What a comfort for this frantic and overwhelmed soul. It makes all the hurry up and waiting not just possible but fun.